Second former Valor Christian coach says school pushed her out because she’s gay

A 2nd erstwhile manager astatine Valor Christian High School came guardant this week to allege she was forced to take betwixt surviving authentically arsenic a cheery pistillate and keeping her occupation coaching girl’s lacrosse astatine the backstage spiritual school.

Lauren Benner, 32, said she was inspired aft reading Inoke Tonga’s Instagram post detailing his communicative astir being pushed retired of his occupation coaching volleyball astatine the Highlands Ranch schoolhouse aft administrators confronted him astir a societal media station suggesting Tonga was gay. On Tuesday, students walked retired of people successful enactment of Tonga. 

The communicative sounded astir identical to Benner’s ain acquisition past year, she said.

“I reached retired to him close away, and we talked, and I told him helium was not alone,” Benner told The Denver Post connected Wednesday.

Benner attended a Christian schoolhouse increasing up and was beardown successful her faith, truthful erstwhile she heard Valor Christian had an opening for a girls lacrosse coach, she said she jumped astatine the accidental and was hired successful 2017.

“It was the astir cherished coaching relation I ever had,” Benner said. “I can’t archer you the joyousness those girls and their families brought me.”

Officials with Valor Christian did not instantly respond to questions astir Benner.

In a connection responding to Tonga’s allegations earlier successful the week, schoolhouse officials said they necessitate staff, module and unpaid leaders to hold with Valor’s Christian beliefs acceptable distant successful the school’s connection of content and to unrecorded successful accordance with it.

“Valor Christian High School embraces, loves and respects each students, families and different participants successful our community, careless of whether oregon not they hold with Valor’s beliefs,” Valor Christian’s connection said.

In December 2019, Benner said she was called into a gathering with Valor’s diversion head and a human-resources worker during which they asked Benner to corroborate whether she was successful a narration with different woman.

“My tummy dropped,” Benner wrote successful her ain Instagram post. “I was inactive connected a travel of self-discovery and truthful for someone, an leader nonetheless, to spontaneously inquire maine astir my sexuality and dating beingness felt beyond violating.”

Caught disconnected guard, Benner denied the accusation, which, she wrote, was followed by the schoolhouse administrators laughing and saying, “We knew that couldn’t beryllium true! How could our CO State Coach of the Year beryllium gay?”

When Benner asked what would person happened had she said she was gay, she wrote that the Valor administrators told her they believed idiosyncratic tin beryllium cheery arsenic agelong arsenic they don’t enactment connected those feelings. If a Valor module oregon unit subordinate is recovered to enactment connected those feelings, Benner said that idiosyncratic would beryllium asked to permission the school.

Benner said she near the speech astatine that and continued her occupation retired of emotion and dedication for her team. COVID-19 interrupted the schoolhouse twelvemonth and crippled schedule, and arsenic the world twelvemonth inched toward an extremity successful the outpouring of 2020, Benner thought astir whether to enactment astatine the school.

Benner acceptable up a gathering with the diversion manager and field pastor to sermon her aboriginal astatine the schoolhouse and the school’s stance connected LGBTQ matters.

“I was bombarded with ignorant and irrelevant statements similar ‘gay marriages don’t last’ and ‘God made antheral and pistillate for the sole intent of procreation,'” Benner wrote. “One of them adjacent compared his content that acting connected same-sex desires is simply a perversion.”

Benner said the administrators told her if a pupil came retired to her, she could invited them with unfastened arms and connection to commune with them for God to usher them to unrecorded a beingness of celibacy and self-control implicit their same-sex desires.

“I volition NEVER archer an jock oregon different pupil of excavation that they tin lone beryllium an accepted kid of God if they contradict who God made them to beryllium by denouncing their sexuality,” Benner wrote. “God loves each 1 of his children precisely arsenic they are and that is existent for each members of the LGBTQ+ community.”

Benner parted ways with Valor Christian aft that — “Though it was truly not a choice,” she wrote — and decided to stock her communicative publically this week aft Tonga shared his own. 

“I consciousness it is important for maine to nary longer enactment silent,” Benner said.

The reception to Benner’s station has been 99% positive, she said, with lone a tiny fig of radical arguing that, of course, her gayness would not align with a Christian school. Benner said determination is thing wrong Valor’s written values that mentions sexuality.

“There is thing successful their connection of beliefs oregon culture documents that I don’t consciousness I align with,” Benner said. “I judge successful what it says.”

Benner said she is inactive processing each that happened to her astatine Valor, but hopes that by sharing her story, she tin enact alteration successful however these conversations are handled.

“The happening that pains maine and brings maine to tears contiguous is the information that I nary longer get to manager those astonishing girls,” Benner said.