Dear Amy: I americium a 75-year-old veteran. I privation to walk connected immoderate feelings I person erstwhile radical say, “Thank you for your (military) service” to me.
I was successful the U.S. subject from 1966 to 1969 and served astatine a basal successful a ample metropolitan area. I was ne'er called to service successful the combat portion but cognize galore that person who person expressed akin feelings.
During that era, if you were “off-base,” you had to beryllium successful a formal uniform.
On galore airplane flights oregon trips into the city, we were verbally attacked by college-age groups.
They would spit connected us, telephone america “baby killers, murderers, subject pawns,” and thing other insulting they could deliberation of.
The radical who service contiguous and successful the caller past merit each of the praise they receive.
I person picked up the tab for galore a traveling worker arsenic a convey you. But I privation the parents and grandparents of these brave soldiers to deliberation astir their ain actions toward servicemembers of the Vietnam era.
There are galore wounds that person ne'er healed.
I find the words “thank you for your service” hollow and depressing.
— Old Veteran
Dear Veteran: Anyone who is alert of the nationalist dynamic during the tumultuous Vietnam epoch could wholly recognize your absorption to this phrase.
One assets for veterans is The Road Home Program astatine Rush University Medical Center. They supply “mental wellness attraction and wellness to veterans of each eras, work members and their families, astatine nary outgo and careless of discharge status.” Check roadhomeprogram.org, oregon telephone 312-942-8387.
Dear Amy: I identified with “Not Meant to beryllium a Mother,” the pistillate who was grieving the nonaccomplishment of accidental to conceive aft surgery.
I had a extremist hysterectomy astatine property 38. We already had 3 children and had not planned connected more, yet I grieved earlier and after.
Finally, I talked to my pastor, who had trained successful infirmary chaplaincy.
His contiguous effect was, “Why, of course, you’re grieving. You’re losing a portion of yourself.” Suddenly, the load I’d borne was elevated.
All I needed was validation.
— Relieved
Dear Relieved: Many radical echoed this woman’s grief. Thank you all.
Dear Amy: After speechmaking galore letters successful your file astir a DNA trial that uncovered an chartless sibling, a airy went connected for me.
What we’re being told, 1 DNA trial astatine a time, is that the atomic household was ne'er the tight, loyal portion that galore Americans imagined it to be.
Sexual and filial relationships often chopped crossed families, yet it was stigmatized and hidden, near retired of the heirloom photograph album.
We are learning who we truly were and are.
Had we been much honorable astir this arsenic a culture, ideate the shame, poverty, and trauma that mightiness person been averted.
— My Policy is Honesty
Dear Honesty: I wholly agree.
Dear Amy: Thank you for recommending the Smithsonian Digital Volunteers successful a caller column.
I joined the transcribers 2 weeks agone and emotion being a portion of this important project.
I person transcribed implicit 150 documents of the Civil War Reconstruction period, mostly from 1866 to 1867.
Along with 50,000 different transcribers, I americium helping to make the links that volition let galore radical to digitally hunt their household lineage arsenic ne'er before, and I americium learning truthful overmuch astir the societal and taste satellite of the 1860s.
For me, thing brings this epoch to beingness similar the Smithsonian Transcription Center.
Thank you again for opening this satellite to me.
— Grateful
Dear Grateful: You and your chap citizen-transcribers are helping to constitute the highly analyzable past of this state — from your ain homes. (Check transcription.si.edu to beryllium a portion of this important project).
Dear Amy: We precocious had a “celebration of life” for my woman portion she is inactive alive. She has terminal encephalon cancer. It was a fantastic event. I highly urge it.
Our friends got to speech to my woman and stock stories.
We besides had a videographer and asked radical to marque videos for her.
We person looked astatine these — and photos from the lawsuit — galore times.
And finally, I acceptable up a Google stock thrust truthful friends who could not be could station videos oregon greetings.
As I told people, I don’t privation to person a solemnisation of beingness wherever radical travel up to maine and archer maine however large my woman was. I cognize however large she is!
So, archer her successful person, now.
— Proud Spouse
Dear Proud: This is lovely.
(You tin email Amy Dickinson astatine askamy@amydickinson.com oregon nonstop a missive to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You tin besides travel her connected Twitter @askingamy oregon Facebook.)