Ask Amy: Hosts struggle filling the feed bag for kids

Dear Amy: Next week my sister volition beryllium visiting, on with her big son, his wife, and 3 children. They volition beryllium staying with america for astir a week.

As I program the menu, I person asked if anyone has immoderate allergies oregon dislikes, arsenic good arsenic a java preference.

My sister is coming 2 days earlier her son’s accomplishment (as they unrecorded successful antithetic parts of the country) and wants to assistance with the acquisition of groceries.

She has a precise elaborate database of precisely what they devour erstwhile they are astatine home, including high-sugar, high-caffeine drinks for the oldest, who is 13 (who lives with them fractional the clip and whose parent feeds him high-sugar nutrient and drinks).

I surely don’t privation to enactment anyone connected a fare during their vacation, but besides don’t consciousness it is indispensable to supply “Red Mountain Dew” erstwhile we ever person plentifulness of different beverages that are healthier and kid-friendly (Gatorade, for example). They besides are requesting galore different precise circumstantial items.

I privation to beryllium welcoming, person a large time, and marque everyone happy, but is this a emblematic mode to big a family?

We are accustomed to hosting families for cookouts and ever supply a assortment of steadfast and emblematic summertime amusive food, truthful I deliberation they whitethorn similar our paper if they tried it.

What is your take?

– Humble Hostess

Dear Hostess: As a benignant and acrophobic host, you volition bash your champion to provender your guests, balancing their preferences on with your own. This does not mean that you request to cater to their each request.

When children are present, yes, you volition extremity up stocking immoderate things you don’t usually consume. (I don’t usually devour popsicles, but I effort to person them successful the freezer erstwhile the kids visit.)

When children sojourn your location by themselves, you volition power the menu, but erstwhile they sojourn on with their parents, their parents should instrumentality the pb erstwhile it comes to feeding them.

Your sister is arriving early, equipped with her lengthy nutrient list. You should fto her grip and acquisition immoderate much exotic items are connected the family’s list, including immoderate atrocious portion the 13-year-old prefers. (Gatorade is not truly a steadfast substitute for Red Mountain Dew, by the way.)

If the children petition thing that you don’t person connected hand, you tin say, “Oh, we don’t usually devour Malted Chocolate Power Puffs for meal truthful I don’t person immoderate successful the house, but I tin toast a mini-bagel for you.” If this becomes much of an issue, the parents and grandma are connected hand, and you tin readily defer to them.

Dear Amy: Recently I fto a person get my carpet shampooer and it was fixed to her successful immaculate condition, arsenic I ever cleanable it aft utilizing it. She returned it soiled and afloat of nasty canine hair. She didn’t adjacent effort to cleanable it out. She emptied the soiled water, but that was it!

Who does that? Now I person to cleanable it retired and I’m disgusted.

Obviously, I won’t beryllium lending it retired again, but I bash privation to code it.

What tin I accidental without causing a fight?

– Disappointed Lender

Dear Lender: In the future, earlier lending retired thing you value, it is adjuvant to fto the idiosyncratic cognize what your expectations are. With a portion of instrumentality that mightiness beryllium unfamiliar (I’ve ne'er utilized one), you should say, “Let maine amusement you however to cleanable retired the wrong earlier you instrumentality it. That mode you tin get each the gunk out.”

At this point, you should accidental to your friend, “I truly privation you had cleaned retired the instrumentality earlier returning it. ‘Buster’s’ canine hairsbreadth is everywhere.”

This should not pb to a fight, but an apology.

Dear Amy: “Disappointed” was dealing with a Florida comparative who didn’t privation to question North for Christmas Day. Why indispensable we observe these occasions connected circumstantial days?

When I realized my siblings and daughters-in-loves had lasting commitments for Thanksgiving dinner, I created my ain celebration.

My “Day After Thanksgiving Dinner” celebrations person been a immense deed with each my family.

After much than six decades of consuming fattening and affluent Thanksgiving food, I don’t bask eating oregon cooking it, truthful I’m escaped to beryllium originative with my meal.

Plus, hose tickets are overmuch cheaper if you alert connected the holiday.

– Apres Celebration

Dear Apres: Great suggestion. Thank you.

(You tin email Amy Dickinson astatine askamy@amydickinson.com oregon nonstop a missive to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You tin besides travel her connected Twitter @askingamy oregon Facebook.)