Ask Amy: Attack victim wants to warn others

Dear Amy: Several years ago, I was physically attacked — and earnestly injured — by a antheral I had dated, connected and off, for respective years. I had him arrested.

He was charged and received 1 year’s probation. I was granted a restraining order.

My contented is with his family. After the attack, his sisters informed maine that: He was a pathological liar, helium had served jailhouse clip for felony DWI, helium had a past of sponging disconnected of women and household members, and his ex-wife had divorced him due to the fact that of his alcoholism.

This antheral often drove my car, and his sisters knew it. And they besides knew that, owed to the felony DWI, helium would ne'er again person a driver’s license.

I saw them a fig of times passim our narration and was friends with some connected Facebook, yet neither of them ever said 1 connection to maine astir their brother.

I present cheque their FB regularly to spot if their member is dating anyone. Because if helium is, I mean to archer her everything.

So far, nothing. But I deliberation that informing imaginable victims is their responsibility, not mine. What bash you think?

– Seriously Concerned

Dear Concerned: I tin recognize wherefore you harbor feelings of bitterness toward this full family, but by placing work for protecting women onto these sisters, you look to beryllium asking them fundamentally to constabulary their brother.

I wholly hold that erstwhile they became alert that you were successful a longer-term narration with him these sisters should person notified you of his unspeakable way grounds and felony conviction.

However, the sibling narration is vastly antithetic from an intimate spouse relationship. These sisters person ne'er dated him (one hopes). They don’t person the enactment of not being related to him. He mightiness beryllium arsenic menacing toward them arsenic helium was toward you. Or they mightiness person believed that helium had changed during his narration with you.

You don’t harbor conflicted feelings oregon beliefs astir him — arsenic his sisters might.

You person nonstop cognition of however unsafe helium is, and you person entree to his apprehension grounds and restraining bid to beryllium it.

Yes, if you go alert that helium is dating someone, you should pass her. Understand that thing you perpetrate to penning (on Facebook messenger, for instance) tin beryllium shared, truthful beryllium cautious. Your informing could prevention different pistillate from harm.

Dear Amy: Through a DNA website, I precocious connected with a girl I gave up for adoption 40 years ago.

This transportation has been a beauteous experience, and we some look guardant to galore much years spent getting to cognize each other.

My hubby and I person 2 grown daughters who person met this pistillate and her family, and everyone gets along.

The adopted girl is precise palmy professionally and financially. Our 2 daughters are solidly mediate class, arsenic are we.

Our dilemma is: How shall we divvy up our assets successful our will?

Should we sermon this with them?

Advice, please!

– Struggling successful Sacramento

Dear Struggling: It is genuinely inspiring to larn of a palmy and peaceful family-building acquisition of the benignant you are experiencing. Credit goes to each of you, including your adopted child’s parents, who look to person raised a palmy and well-adjusted person.

I’m amazed astatine however often I person questions astir however to disagreement assets, erstwhile the reply is always: However you want! It is wisest to sermon this with an experienced and qualified property readying lawyer who tin counsel you astir the inheritance laws wherever you live.

You could marque 1 prime present and past aboriginal alteration your minds and spell done the process of amending your wills to bespeak the change.

I am, however, of the definite sentiment that you should not sermon this with your daughters during the readying phase. At this point, adjacent though the determination volition yet person an interaction connected them, your decision-making process is nary of their business.

Dear Amy: “Anxious successful Georgia” had a hubby who was trying to gaslight her into a threesome (or his cheating) with her friend.

This made maine chuckle, recalling a akin incidental with a person of mine.

The hubby wanted a threesome with different woman, truthful my person was recruited.

Very rapidly though, the 2 women fell successful emotion with each other, became a couple, and the hubby was near alone.

This hubby didn’t rather get what helium was after.

Touche!

– Still Chuckling

Dear Chuckling: That’s rather a juicy “How we met” story.

(You tin email Amy Dickinson astatine askamy@amydickinson.com oregon nonstop a missive to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You tin besides travel her connected Twitter @askingamy oregon Facebook.)